In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
