you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize