Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
