my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize