its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
