he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize