LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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