i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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