I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Help me help you realize you are a moron
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
