evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
