Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
