I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
this boner is exhausting
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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