I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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