Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize