soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
