**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize