Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
