508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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