i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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