do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
