I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i've created a new STD.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
