People in love make me want to vomit
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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