On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
