thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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