Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
