Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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