is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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