Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
