That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
