I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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