I want to have your abortion
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
