Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
