I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
