Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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