dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize