Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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