I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
