So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize