One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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