Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she woke up with a sticky ear
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
