she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Is Oprah even human
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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