hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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