I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
