Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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