i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize