I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
