so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
