this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize