No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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