he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
