He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize