So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
