I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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