you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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