never play flip cup with pint glasses
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
