he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
