Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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