I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
should my penis look like a turkey
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
