Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
