there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
