I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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