I think my vagina is haunted
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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