Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I believe in your delicious
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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